Counselling Therapy Treatment
TRAUMA
We aim to give a all round idea of some of the issue that you may be going through as couple or as an individual so please read on and remember that we are in the process of still building our new Site. If your issue is not in here please e-mail us and we will endeavour to put it in
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Letting go
To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, It means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, It’s the realization that I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.
To let go is not to be protective,It is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes.
To let go is not to criticise and regulate anyone, But to try to become what dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and to love more.
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Unhelpful Thoughts
1. Over-generalisation. Making a sweeping statement about oneself following a single incident; “She didn’t want to go out with me – that means no one will.
2. Personalisation. Attributing failures to oneself when other factors may be at least as much to blame: “She didn’t enjoy the cinema this evening because she was with me”.
3. Magnification. Misinterpreting a minor setback as a major disaster, ‘making a mountain out of a mole hill’ “Since she said she couldn’t go out with me that evening it’s pointless asking her out again”.
4. Minimisation. Misinterpreting one’s achievement so that it’s actual worth is underestimated: “She seems to enjoy my company, but that’s only because there’s nobody else available”.
5. Dichotomous reasoning. Categorising oneself as one thing or the other, as a success or a failure with no intermediate position: “She doesn’t like me, that’s because I’m basically unlikeable.
6. Arbitrary inference. Making a negative inference from something without taking into account alternative explanations: “She arrived late which means she didn’t really want to come anyway”.
7. Selective Abstraction. Basing a conclusion on one fact taken out of context while ignoring any conflicting evidence: Although she has kept all our other arrangements the fact that she didn’t come tonight means she is not committed to our relationship”.
It can be seen that some thoughts are examples of more than one mechanism in play; indeed, the example above of over-generalisation might also result from personalisation, magnification or selective abstraction.
Thought, Feelings & Action (Cognitive Behavioural Programme)
Designed by Alpha Integrative Counselling Services
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phone 01376552774