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Normal Responses to Pain and loss of Normality

• Disbelief:
  You expect to wake up any minute from this nightmare. It can't be true. You can't cry, because you don't believe it.
• Shock:
  Nature softens the blow, temporarily. You are numb and dazed. Your emotions are frozen. You go through the motions, like a robot.
• Crying:
  Deep emotions suddenly well up, seeking release as loud sobbing and crying. Give yourself time for tears. They can help.
• Physical Symptoms:
  You may sleep or eat too little or too much. You may have physical aches, pains, numbness, or weakness. Check with a doctor to rule out other causes. Usually the symptoms fade gradually.
• Denial:
  You know the fact of death but you forget. You expect your loved one to telephone or walk in the door. You search for him/her.
• Why:
  "Why did he/she have to die?" You don't expect an answer, but you need to ask repeatedly. The question itself is a cry of pain.
• Repeating:
  Over and over again, you tell the same story, think the same thoughts. Repeating helps you to absorb the painful reality.
• Self-Control:
  You control your emotions to fulfil your responsibilities or to rest from the pain. Self-control can shape and give rhythm to your grieving, but constant rigid self-control can block healing.
• Reality:
  "It really happened." You feel you're getting worse. Actually, reality has just hit, and support from friends and family may be diminishing.
• Confusion:
  You can't think. You forget in mid-sentence. You are disorganized and impatient.
• Idealizing:
  You remember only good traits, as if your loved one was perfect. You find it hard to accept the not-so-perfect living. Your loved one's idiosyncrasies or imperfect traits become endearing reminders of their realness, humanness.
• Identifying:
  Wanting to stay close, you copy your loved one's style of dress, hobbies, interests, or habits. You may carry a special object of his or hers.
• Envy:
  You envy others. Their pleasure in their loved ones makes you feel keenly what you have lost. They don't deserve their good fortune.
• Frustration:
  Your past fulfilments are gone. You haven't found new ones yet. You feel you're not coping with grief "right."
• Bitterness:
  Temporary feelings of resentment and hatred, especially toward those in some way responsible for your loss, are natural. But, habitual bitterness can drain energy and block healing.
• Waiting:
  The struggle is over, but your zest has not returned. You are in limbo, exhausted, uncertain. Life seems flat.
• Hope:
  You believe you will get better. The good days out balance the bad. Sometimes you can work effectively, enjoy activities, and really care for others.
• Missing:
  You never stop missing your loved one. Particular days, places, and activities can bring back the pain as intensely as ever.
• Commitment:
  You know you have a choice. Life won't be the same, but you decide to actively begin building a new life for yourself.
• Seeking:
  You take initiative, renewing your involvement with former friends and activities, and exploring new involvements.
• Hanging On:
  Some days you hang on to the grief, which is familiar. Letting go is more a final good-bye to your loved one. You let go gradually.
• Peace:
  You can reminisce about your loved one with a sense of peace. You feel able to accept the death and face your own future.
• Life Opens Up:
  Life has value and meaning again. You can enjoy, appreciate, and anticipate events. You are willing to let the rest of your life be all it can be

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YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL

In the entire world there is nobody, nobody like you. Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile, your eyes, your hands, your hair, your arms and legs nobody owns your handwriting, your voice. You’re Special.

Nobody can paint your brush strokes. Nobody has your taste for food, or music, or dance, or art. Nobody in the universe sees things as you do. In all time there has never been anyone who laughs in exactly your way, and what makes you laugh, or cry, or think may have a totally different response in another. So…… You’re Special.

You’re different from any other person who has ever lived in the history of the universe. You are the only one in the whole of creation who has your particular set of abilities. There is always someone who is better at one thing or another. Every person is my superior in at least one way. Nobody in the universe can reach the quality of the combination of your talents, your feelings. Like a room full of musical instruments, some might excel in one-way or another, but nobody can match the symphonic sound when all played together.              You’re Symphony.

Through all eternity no one will ever walk, talk, think or do exactly like you.

You’re Special

You’re rare and in all rarity there is enormous value and because of your great value the need for you to imitate anyone else is absolutely wrong.

You’re Special and it is no accident you are. Please realise that God made you for a special purpose. He has a job for you to do that nobody else can do as well as you can. Out of the billions of applicants only one is qualified. Only one has the unique and right combination of what it takes and that one is you.

YOU’RE SPECIAL

                                                              Inner Peace (Stress Management/Relaxation Programme)

                                                                             Designed by Alpha Integrative Counselling Services

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phone 01376552774

or E-Mail David@Counselling-Therapy-Treatment.co.uk