 Counselling Therapy Treatment |
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Enhanced Thinking Skills
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LEARNING TO BE YOURSELF THE PLUM You should learn that you cannot be loved by everyone. You may be the finest plum in the world-Ripe, juicy and succulent, and offer yourself to all. But there will be people who do not like plums. You must understand that if you are the world’s finest plum. And someone you like doesn’t happen to like plums. You have the choice of becoming a banana, but you must Be warned that if you choose to become a banana You will be a second-rate banana. But you can always be the best plum. You must also realise, if you choose to be a banana, There will be people who do not like bananas. Furthermore, you could spend your life trying to be the best banana, which is Impossible if you are a plum, Or You can seek again to be the best plum!
Thought, Feelings & Action (Cognitive Behavioural Programme) Designed by Alpha Integrative Counselling Services ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guide to do every day 1. Study something new every day- 2. Do at least one new thing different every day and make it part of your life 3. Keep a positive dairy 4. Go for a walk if possible 5. Get out of house at least once a day 6. Be nice to someone else at least once a day 7. Be good/treat yourself at least once a day 8. Phone at least one person everyday9. Be good to yourself 10. It is ok to feel 11. It is OK to Think 12. Act as if to give the Confidence to achieve 13. Learn to trust yourself 14. Learn to trust others --------------------------------------------------------------------------- LEARNING TO BE YOURSELFTHE PLUMYou should learn that you cannot be loved by everyone. You may be the finest plum in the world-Ripe, juicy and succulent, and offer yourself to all. But there will be people who do not like plums. You must understand that if you are the world’s finest plum. And someone you like doesn’t happen to like plums. You have the choice of becoming a banana, but you must Be warned that if you choose to become a banana You will be a second-rate banana. But you can always be the best plum. You must also realise, if you choose to be a banana, There will be people who do not like bananas. Furthermore, you could spend your life trying to be the best banana, which is Impossible if you are a plum, Or You can seek again to be the best plum---------------------------------------------------------------------------- LET IT REALLY SINK IN - THEN CHOOSE.
always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he
was
Attitude, after all, is everything. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Letting goTo let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, It means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, It’s the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself. To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own outcomes. To let go is not to be protective,It is to permit another to face reality. To let go is not to deny, but to accept. To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them. To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes. To let go is not to criticise and regulate anyone, But to try to become what dream I can be. To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To let go is to fear less and to love more. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Unhelpful Thoughts1. Over-generalisation. Making a sweeping statement about oneself following a single incident; “She didn’t want to go out with me – that means no one will. 2. Personalisation. Attributing failures to oneself when other factors may be at least as much to blame: “She didn’t enjoy the cinema this evening because she was with me”.
3. Magnification. Misinterpreting a minor setback as a major disaster, ‘making a mountain out of a mole hill’ “Since she said she couldn’t go out with me that evening it’s pointless asking her out again”. 4. Minimisation. Misinterpreting one’s achievement so that it’s actual worth is underestimated: “She seems to enjoy my company, but that’s only because there’s nobody else available”. 5. Dichotomous reasoning. Categorising oneself as one thing or the other, as a success or a failure with no intermediate position: “She doesn’t like me, that’s because I’m basically unlikeable. 6. Arbitrary inference. Making a negative inference from something without taking into account alternative explanations: “She arrived late which means she didn’t really want to come anyway”. 7. Selective Abstraction. Basing a conclusion on one fact taken out of context while ignoring any conflicting evidence: Although she has kept all our other arrangements the fact that she didn’t come tonight means she is not committed to our relationship”. It can be seen that some thoughts are examples of more than one mechanism in play; indeed, the example above of over-generalisation might also result from personalisation, magnification or selective abstraction.
Thought, Feelings & Action (Cognitive Behavioural Programme) Designed by Alpha Integrative Counselling Services ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just For Today Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime. * Just for today I will be happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. * Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my ‘luck’ as it comes, and fit myself to it. * Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. * Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do – just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it. * Just for today I will be agreeable, I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself. * Just for today I will have a programme. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision. * Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life. * Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Handling Criticism(How to respond to criticism assertively) 1. If it’s fair criticism, ask for specific suggestions, alternatives, from the person. What might you do to handle a situation, or behave differently? 2. No need for long, self-critical, or rationalising excuses. 3. When a person’s criticism is somewhat vague, unclear. For example, ‘You are “cold” with people’, have them clarify or give specific examples. 4. Respond with opinion statements rather than ‘you’ statements, for example, ‘I think you misinterpreted what I said’, instead of, ‘Your interpretation is all wrong.’ It’s ok to share your reactions, feelings, regard the criticism: ‘I feel a little angry about your bringing up this issue again’, or ‘I feel unjustly criticised.’---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL
In the entire world there is nobody, nobody like you. Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile, your eyes, your hands, your hair, your arms and legs nobody owns your handwriting, your voice. You’re Special. Nobody can paint your brush strokes. Nobody has your taste for food, or music, or dance, or art. Nobody in the universe sees things as you do. In all time there has never been anyone who laughs in exactly your way, and what makes you laugh, or cry, or think may have a totally different response in another. So…… You’re Special. You’re different from any other person who has ever lived in the history of the universe. You are the only one in the whole of creation who has your particular set of abilities. There is always someone who is better at one thing or another. Every person is my superior in at least one way. Nobody in the universe can reach the quality of the combination of your talents, your feelings. Like a room full of musical instruments, some might excel in one-way or another, but nobody can match the symphonic sound when all played together. You’re Symphony.
Through all eternity no one will ever walk, talk, think or do exactly like you. You’re Special You’re rare and in all rarity there is enormous value and because of your great value the need for you to imitate anyone else is absolutely wrong. You’re Special and it is no accident you are. Please realise that God made you for a special purpose. He has a job for you to do that nobody else can do as well as you can. Out of the billions of applicants only one is qualified. Only one has the unique and right combination of what it takes and that one is you.
YOU’RE SPECIAL
Inner Peace (Stress Management/Relaxation Programme) Designed by Alpha Integrative Counselling Services -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- PROMISES If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations, which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that we are living and have a purposeful life.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. Motivation for Life Program Designed by Alpha Integrative Counselling Services Exert from AA book ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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